Oct 22 2008
Children and Divorce: Alleviating the Pain
Many couples choose to stay in a bad marriage strictly (and more often than not: merely ostensibly) for the sake of the children. They, mistakenly, feel that it is better stay together, regardless how stressful the situation. What these parents need to remember that, in reality, a family remains a family even after divorce.
A recent study showed that approximately 50% of U.S. based marriages end in divorce. Although the parents are likely to feel a sense of relief after divorce has been granted, children still feel scared and frustrated.
There are many things parents can do to help their children through this difficult time. One of the most important things they need to remember is to be honest about the upcoming divorce. It is natural for children to feel as though they have somehow contributed to the break-up. Parents need to reassure these children that that is simply not the case. Divorce is NEVER the fault of the children!
Parents should sit down together when it comes time to tell the children of their desire to divorce. Leaving the task to one parent alone is plain unfair as this might cause the children to blame the parent who actually delivered the news.
Generally it is unwise to wait until the last minute to tell children about your upcoming divorce. They need time to digest this information and come to terms with it as well, after all.
Parents need to tell their children that it is normal to for the entire family to be sad during this time. More importantly, they need to stress that this sadness will not last forever. Children need to be re-assured that their parents will always love them and remain their parents, no matter what.
It is wrong for one parent to discuss the other’s faults with their children. This only causes more harm and should be avoided at all costs.
There are many different ways that children react to the pain and stress of divorce. Many children try to keep their feelings hidden. It is up to the parents to watch for and recognize warning signs. Some common signs include: withdrawing from friends and family members, increased aggression or anger, falling grades or trouble in school and problems with self-esteem.
Of course, it is never easy to talk to ones children about divorce. But once the issue is out in the open families can begin the healing process. If additional help is needed a variety of low cost counseling options are available.
One way of alleviating the pain and hassle (including the financial burden) every divorce involves is to go for a fast and easy cheap online divorce. This is only possible if the divorce is an uncontested one. Moreover, joint custody issues will have to be addressed in a manner the courts can and will go along with. But as it can be conducted from the comfort of your familiar home, and saving several thousand dollars in the process, it can be a great help in minimizing the emotional and financial fallout.
